Posts tagged recognize
Retreat to Move Forward
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Every morning this week, this was the view as I stepped out of my villa. Eat Play Love in Puerto Rico was an amazing experience filled with beautiful participants that were even more amazing than the views. Getting away from it all (with spotty internet), made me recognize so clearly our tendency to move at lightning speed and intense direction without pause.

How often do we step back and appreciate what's around us? Even if it isn't palm trees and beaches, there is beauty to take in everywhere.

Allow yourself to enjoy the journey. Life isn't about a specific destination, but what we learn along the way. Goals are amazing. They keep us on our path, give us hope, and create motivation. However high your goals are, never lose sight of the lessons along the way. Take a minute to retreat. Observe. Appreciate.

I'll be spending the rest of my night journalling the lessons that I have learned this week. My goals are high and plentiful, but the ride to get there is just as important.

Sending you so much love and light!

PS - Upcoming Retreats and Events

February 12th - Self-Love Celebration!  I am SO excited to be one of the hosts for the incredible Self-Love Celebration coming up in NYC, created by my friend Nitika Chopra. It is sure to be an evening you will not want to miss. Join me in getting pampered with expert facialists, makeup artists, on-the-spot coaching, energy work and even amazing raffle prizes for you to win! The gift bags are always amazing. Register soon because this event always sells out: Click HERE to grab your spot!

February 17th - Man Panel at the 92Y - Get inside the minds of men by going straight to the source. 5 guys will answer ALL of your questions. This has always been a hugely popular event so grab your tickets now before they sell out! Click [here](http://www.92y.org/Event/The-Man-Panel.aspx) for more info.

March 20-22 - Girlfriends Getaway Retreat - Save the date for this sure to be awesome experience. Join yogi extraordinaire Laurel Attanasio and I for a weekend at the amazing Sayre Mansion for daily yoga, sessions on love and relationships, self-love group hypnosis, mini facials, and more. The perfect getaway with your girlfriends to rejuvenate and get ready for spring!

Tell Me What You Want
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Ok, I was *this* close to including a shot of me becoming the sixth Spice Girl (Loving Spice), but I decided to spare you. Especially on a Sunday. You're welcome. The truth is, we do need to define what we want, what we REALLY want and who we really want, so we recognize them when they show up in our lives. I am not talking about superficial qualities. I don't care that you want to date a size 4 blonde, or a six foot tall former athlete. What I do care about is defining the qualities, values, and personality of an ideal mate.

Anyone who has worked with me may be scratching their heads right now saying, "I thought you said not to make a huge list of expectations? What about my four non-negotiables?" The answer is yes, I do not want you to make a list of 17 qualifications that your partner has to have, and set a bar that is almost impossible to reach. However, I do want you to become clear on who your ideal mate is. Your non-negotiables keep you from dating anyone that is clearly wrong for you, but a list of ideal qualities helps to 1) manifest that partner into your life and 2) make it unbelievably obvious how perfect they are for you when they show up. Pick five to ten qualities of a perfect partner, and put them out there. Without fear.

So what does this type of list look like? I'll share mine verbatim. Walking my vulnerability talk right here, and putting it all out there.  I wrote this almost year ago after a relationship that wasn't right for me ended (as all relationships that aren't right for you should). Here it goes: 1- Loves kids. All kids, but most of all, my kids. 2- Appreciates and respects a strong independent woman. Loves my drive and never tries to impede my ambition. 3- Charismatic with a smile that lights the room. A social butterfly that also loves to let it shine only for me at home. 4- Trustworthy and trusting. Knows who he is, appreciates who I am, and respects the relationship enough to always make me feel safe. 5- Loves sex. Yup. Needs to want to jump me all day every day. 6- Always open to new experiences. Says yes to the opportunity to travel, meet people, experience an adventure. 7- Generous in time, money, love and spirit. Always willing to help someone in need. 8- Healthy. Eats right (most of the time) and loves physical activity. Inspires me to appreciate my health and maintain it.

I've met a ton of people since I wrote this, and I cannot tell you how many times I came back to this list. Not because I wouldn't date someone who didn't meet every qualification (sometimes it takes more than a few dates to figure it out), but because I didn't want to let chemistry override what I knew I needed in a long-term relationship.

So take some time to tell yourself what you really want. Think about what has worked in the past, and what was missing. Write it down. And let it guide you.