Posts tagged ourselves
What no one is telling you about dating.

I work amongst a sea of colleagues, many of which I hold in high esteem. However, the dating "industry" is flawed. So many are trying to sell a magical solution. A way to solve all problems in 6 weeks, 3 months, a weekend... Just read this book, take this class, attend this retreat and all your worries will leave you. Even more, Mr./Ms. Right will arrive on cue. The problem isn't that they don't believe that it can happen, or that it won't work for some, it's that it will never work for all.

Just like diets, there is no one size fits all advice for dating. We are all so intricately different. Our emotions, our reactions, our desires. All so varied.

So here's the secret....there is no secret formula that we have and you don't. We don't have a magic wand to create chemistry, the perfect opportunities, or love.

All I have as a coach is the ability to work with you to discover what within you would create the best environment for love to grow. That's it.

My "secret" formula? It's not so secret. I truly believe that lasting healthy love comes down to three things. There's no guarantee that the man or woman of your dreams will knock on your door when you've completed them, but you'll be ready if they do.

So here they are: - Learn to love yourself - Be open to love from others - Release attachments of an expected outcome

Everything else? It's marketing. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating. We have no control over when love arrives in our life. It's magic. All we have is the ability to put ourselves in a position where it will stay.

I honor myself.

hon·or/änər/ verb 1. regard with great respect.

I write and speak a lot about self love. Self love is the foundation to romantic love, for without a strong relationship with yourself, you can never have a healthy relationship with someone else.

But this week, I was reminded to HONOR myself.

My good friend Rebekah Borucki (you know, that chick that I keep telling you to meditate with?) gave me a reminder of how in addition to focusing on self love, we need to remember to honor ourselves.

Who knew that a small bracelet could have such an impact? It did, and it made me think of all the times I DON'T honor myself. The times when I allow others to dictate my schedule. The times when I cut myself down with negative thoughts. The times when I allow people in my world that don't lift me up.

This bracelet reminded me that I need to regard myself with great respect. ALWAYS. It is a choice. We choose to let people treat us a certain way. We choose to allow ourselves to be disrespected. We choose to allow our beliefs to be disregarded. We choose to not honor ourselves, but we must.

This week I challenge you to honor yourself.

Honor yourself with the thoughts you think.

Honor yourself with the choices you make.

Honor yourself with the boundaries you set.

Honor yourself. Always.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ― Gautama Buddha