Posts tagged loving
Why Vulnerability is HOT

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection." ― Brené Brown I recently spent time with a guy friend of mine. Someone that I have had a connection with for quite a while. He is awesome. Cracks me up, keeps me on my toes (ie. calls me out on my BS), and is easy on the eyes. There is absolutely chemistry. My friend has made it clear in the past that he is interested, and as much as I like him and am attracted to him, I could never be in a relationship with him. Why you ask? Because of the massive wall around his heart. He is afraid to tell people how he feels. He thinks pretending not to care is a safer path. Sure I could try to be "that girl" that breaks it down, but at what cost? Have you ever been in a relationship where one person is open, fearless, and ready, while the other is closed, guarded, and scared of hurt? It doesn't usually work.

There is power in vulnerability. There is LOVE in vulnerability. Taking the risk to show your heart to someone is terrifying, but the reward is unbelievably amazing. Vulnerability is HOT.

You see, for all of his great qualities, my friend is missing one of the most important things necessary to make a real, loving, relationship work. If you can't let your guard down, stop playing games, and let yourself (your REAL self) be seen, you can never experience love the way it was meant to be. Honest, open, secure, and healthy.

My plea to you? Be vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel every emotion, and find someone prepared to protect your heart when you place it in their hands.

 

What Are You Worth?

I had the honor of giving my first TED talk yesterday at TEDxYouth@Hewitt. It was an amazing experience that I will forever be grateful for. An auditorium filled with minds thirsty for inspiration. A group of speakers with so much passion for their life's work that you couldn't help but feel thankful just to be in their energy. I spoke about the Power of Kindness. I talked about how kindness changed the trajectory of my life. I shared how when I was bullied in elementary school for not being "good enough", kindness from others was what made the difference between despair and hope. I spoke about how being kind to others can lead to happiness, love, and success. But I screwed up. Big time. While my talk focused on how kindness to others can change your world, I realized I missed a major point.

My talk should have been about being kind to yourself.

In my world, I hear intimate, personal, heartfelt stories on a daily basis. Clients, friends, and total strangers share things that they would never tell anyone else. I am so humbled by their openness, and heartbroken by an often common thread. There is a severe lack lack of kindness. Not to those around them, but to themselves.

"I'm not good enough."

"I don't deserve better."

"No one could love ME."

In so many words, these statements are often repeated. Why? Why are we so hard on ourselves, when we are so aware of the need to be kind to others? I may have lost an opportunity to share that message yesterday, but I am going to share it now.

Be kind to yourself first. Focus on loving you before you think about loving someone else. Realize that you are good enough, deserve the best, and are so unbelievably lovable. Demand respect, and do not settle for being treated poorly.

In case no one else is telling you this, including yourself, I will - YOU ARE WORTH IT.