Posts tagged kindness
Ego vs. Heart

Woah. That's the kind of day I had yesterday. Ever have a moment when you could finally put words to a feeling?

I attended Reveal, a women's event focused on spirituality, kindness and self love, and left with an understanding of why I have been feeling what I have been feeling. You see, after my recent retreat, I came back with a lack of a desire to be plastered on television, or quoted in major magazines. Not that I won't appear occasionally, but it isn't a focus to land every possible segment or get my own show.

Instead of bright lights and cameras, I felt the strongest pull to speak, to coach, and to transform. I just didn't know why.

Yesterday, I realized it was because I am now choosing heart over ego.

I realized so many of my decisions are based in ego. What makes me look better? What makes me look cool? What validates the little girl inside who didn't feel good enough?

TV appearances feed my ego.

Coaching and speaking feed my soul.

Getting picked to be the date of the hottest, richest, most famous guy feeds the ego.

Creating a true loving connection filled with communication, shared values, and similar goals feeds the heart.

I have to tell you, it feels amazing to feed the heart.

What choices are you making in your life based on ego?

How would they be different if they were based on heart?

There is a reason the saying is "follow your heart".

PS - Speaking of heart based speaking, my most recent TEDx is now available!

I was absolutely honored to speak at my alma mater's first TEDx event on "Killing Fear" last month. Fear is so pervasive in our lives, and I am passionate about helping people overcome the fears that hold them back in life and love. It's actually the topic of my next book.

Why Vulnerability is HOT

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection." ― Brené Brown I recently spent time with a guy friend of mine. Someone that I have had a connection with for quite a while. He is awesome. Cracks me up, keeps me on my toes (ie. calls me out on my BS), and is easy on the eyes. There is absolutely chemistry. My friend has made it clear in the past that he is interested, and as much as I like him and am attracted to him, I could never be in a relationship with him. Why you ask? Because of the massive wall around his heart. He is afraid to tell people how he feels. He thinks pretending not to care is a safer path. Sure I could try to be "that girl" that breaks it down, but at what cost? Have you ever been in a relationship where one person is open, fearless, and ready, while the other is closed, guarded, and scared of hurt? It doesn't usually work.

There is power in vulnerability. There is LOVE in vulnerability. Taking the risk to show your heart to someone is terrifying, but the reward is unbelievably amazing. Vulnerability is HOT.

You see, for all of his great qualities, my friend is missing one of the most important things necessary to make a real, loving, relationship work. If you can't let your guard down, stop playing games, and let yourself (your REAL self) be seen, you can never experience love the way it was meant to be. Honest, open, secure, and healthy.

My plea to you? Be vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel every emotion, and find someone prepared to protect your heart when you place it in their hands.