Posts tagged killing fear
Fear sucks.

You would think I would have the market cornered on getting past my fears. I wrote a book on being fearless. I gave a TED talk on killing fear. I do things every day that scare me. You would think I'd be immune! Or at least less effected. I wish.

I'm in a beautiful relationship with an amazing man, and there are times that I am terrified. WHAT?! How is that even possible? Doesn't love remove all fear? Isn't it the magic bullet that makes everything perfect?

Loving someone and allowing yourself to be loved can be the scariest thing you'll ever do. The vulnerability it takes to love is unbelievably frightening. What if I get hurt? What if they leave? Oh the possibilities of pain and makes you wonder why we all seek this!

Then I remember why. Because there is nothing more beautiful than being with someone who gets you. Because life is so much brighter when you have someone to share it with. Because there is no greater gift in this world than to feel love for another, and feel loved in return.

I acknowledge my fear, but I don't let it control me. I understand that my past, my insecurities, and my lack of control are scary when it comes to being vulnerable and loving. And I do it anyway.

Overcoming your fears takes practice, whether its a fear of putting yourself out there, taking chances, or loving fully. We all have a choice. We can run and hide, or face our fears head on, and have the possibility of amazing love and an amazing life.

Acknowledge, accept, and overcome.

We are all afraid.

What are you afraid of? We are all afraid of something. Some may have big fears that prevent them from living their best life, and others may have small fears that keep them from making certain steps. I'm debilitatingly terrified of spiders, and because of that, I am not a fan of the outdoors. Or bugs in general. I'm also afraid of not being enough. Not being attractive enough, or skinny enough, or smart enough, or funny enough.

One, a small fear that keeps me from camping (and I'm ok with that). The other, a large fear that could hold me back from achieving my dreams. We are all afraid of something. It's how we deal with them that makes the difference.

I was recently invited to give my second TEDx at Syracuse University next month. My topic? Killing Fear. I want it gone. I want it overcome, not only for me, but for you as well.

Over the next week, I want you to think about your fears. Grab a journal, and write down whenever you feel afraid. Every moment, every thought, every passed opportunity. Go one step further and write down WHY you feel afraid. Take it to an even deeper level, and write out what you would be doing if you didn't have that fear. What goals would you be achieving? Where would you be?

Understanding the when and why you have fear can be an enormous leap into overcoming those feelings, but recognizing the actual cost? Well, that can be downright life changing.

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here." - Marianne Williamson