My hair that is. You see, for years I've had extensions. You know, that fake (well, actually it's real, just not mine) hair that everyone on TV has? I got it a few years ago. My hair was always thinner than I wanted (why couldn't my legs have that problem?!), and when I started doing TV regularly, I decided I might as well join my cohorts in enhancing what God didn't give me.
I'm over them. Sure I think they were pretty, and made me feel more feminine and confident, but they also made me insecure at the same time. Having to tell my boyfriend to be careful of them, worrying that someone would see them if it was windy out. One day last week they just started to come undone, and I realized it was time to let them go.
I'm just fine the way I am. I don't need extra hair to feel amazing. My hair doesn't define me. It's just an accessory. Don't get me wrong, I am a proponent of doing what you need to do to feel good about yourself. Sometimes that's permanent, and sometimes it's temporary, like extensions. I needed them at the moment to feel confident on TV, but now I know all I need is within me. My knowledge (and hopefully my sense of humor) is why I'm there.
So I'm releasing a crutch, and it feels awesome. What's your crutch? What are you using to boost your self esteem that may not truly be a part of you? Ever try going without it? Even temporarily? It's pretty liberating.
Perfection. What is perfect anyway? I'll tell you. It's a unicorn. Yep, we are talking unicorns again, because there is NO SUCH THING as being perfect, and sadly, unicorns aren't real. No such thing and no such person. So why are you chasing perfection? Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself to be "perfect" before you feel dateable? I have 10 extra pounds on me that I am not a fan of. We aren't friends. They weren't invited, and have overextended their stay. One day they might leave, hopefully. However, until then, I am not going to stop living my life. I am not going to hide at home. There is NOTHING that it stops me from doing, other than reaching for (more) cookies. I'm not going to stop dating though.
I see singles all the time that put off dating for a variety of irrelevant reasons: I need to lose weight, I have to grow out this terrible haircut, my clothes are terrible, I hate my nose, and so on to infinity. There are good reasons to put off dating, including self-awareness and taking time to heal a heartbreak, but never something superficial.
Sure, appearances can matter, BUT your attitude far outshines your nose. My confidence and love of life make those ten pounds invisible, and if someone DOES see them, that is their problem, not mine.
Learn to love yourself as you are. Today. Not an idealized version of the "perfect" you. That version may never appear, and then where are you? There is a lid for every pot, and your lid (or pot depending on your preference) isn't going to care about your bad haircut, they are going to love your amazing heart.