Posts tagged clients
It's ok to get angry
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Every week I try to write something that resonates for me, and each time I go deep below the surface, I get such amazing feedback from you that inspires me to share (and over share) more. Well, this week was a challenge for me. I sat this morning thinking about what to write, and I was afraid to be really real. I was afraid you would judge me. The fact is, I got pretty irritated this week. I wouldn't go so far to say pissed off, but absolutely irritated. The problem? Too much. Too much _what_ you ask? Everything. I'm a pretty positive person. I take most things in stride, and thrive on change, growth and excitement. But sometimes, even I need a time out. This week was a great week for so many reasons. I made some BIG plans for changes coming in the next year, I worked on my first TV pilot, and I had amazing calls with my coaching clients. However, in the midst of that, both my kids got sick, schedules changed a million times, and I had some serious negative feelings after allowing a toxic relationship temporarily back in my life.

Ok, maybe I did get a little pissed.

I sat with my anger this weekend, and tried to understand why it arose. What is it's purpose? Why is it there? That gave me the answer I needed to move past it, and back to my happy place (it's SO much nicer there!).

You see, anger can be a catalyst for change. When we are in our lowest state, feeling depressed or like a victim, anger can be the process that raises you to the next level. Anger can inspire you to make changes. Anger can help you remove yourselves from toxic situations without regret. Anger can help you realize your need to take back control, set boundaries, and create the life you want.

I realized that anger isn't all bad.

While I'm not encouraging you to go out and get angry without reason, I am asking that you try to understand your anger. Why is it there? What good can come from it? What changes can you make to get you to YOUR happy place? Every emotion has a purpose. It's up to you to utilize it to your benefit.

What Are You Worth?

I had the honor of giving my first TED talk yesterday at TEDxYouth@Hewitt. It was an amazing experience that I will forever be grateful for. An auditorium filled with minds thirsty for inspiration. A group of speakers with so much passion for their life's work that you couldn't help but feel thankful just to be in their energy. I spoke about the Power of Kindness. I talked about how kindness changed the trajectory of my life. I shared how when I was bullied in elementary school for not being "good enough", kindness from others was what made the difference between despair and hope. I spoke about how being kind to others can lead to happiness, love, and success. But I screwed up. Big time. While my talk focused on how kindness to others can change your world, I realized I missed a major point.

My talk should have been about being kind to yourself.

In my world, I hear intimate, personal, heartfelt stories on a daily basis. Clients, friends, and total strangers share things that they would never tell anyone else. I am so humbled by their openness, and heartbroken by an often common thread. There is a severe lack lack of kindness. Not to those around them, but to themselves.

"I'm not good enough."

"I don't deserve better."

"No one could love ME."

In so many words, these statements are often repeated. Why? Why are we so hard on ourselves, when we are so aware of the need to be kind to others? I may have lost an opportunity to share that message yesterday, but I am going to share it now.

Be kind to yourself first. Focus on loving you before you think about loving someone else. Realize that you are good enough, deserve the best, and are so unbelievably lovable. Demand respect, and do not settle for being treated poorly.

In case no one else is telling you this, including yourself, I will - YOU ARE WORTH IT.