Posts tagged chemistry
What no one is telling you about dating.
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I work amongst a sea of colleagues, many of which I hold in high esteem. However, the dating "industry" is flawed. So many are trying to sell a magical solution. A way to solve all problems in 6 weeks, 3 months, a weekend... Just read this book, take this class, attend this retreat and all your worries will leave you. Even more, Mr./Ms. Right will arrive on cue. The problem isn't that they don't believe that it can happen, or that it won't work for some, it's that it will never work for all.

Just like diets, there is no one size fits all advice for dating. We are all so intricately different. Our emotions, our reactions, our desires. All so varied.

So here's the secret....there is no secret formula that we have and you don't. We don't have a magic wand to create chemistry, the perfect opportunities, or love.

All I have as a coach is the ability to work with you to discover what within you would create the best environment for love to grow. That's it.

My "secret" formula? It's not so secret. I truly believe that lasting healthy love comes down to three things. There's no guarantee that the man or woman of your dreams will knock on your door when you've completed them, but you'll be ready if they do.

So here they are: - Learn to love yourself - Be open to love from others - Release attachments of an expected outcome

Everything else? It's marketing. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating. We have no control over when love arrives in our life. It's magic. All we have is the ability to put ourselves in a position where it will stay.

He Didn't Call, Now What?!
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I met someone! A man for the first time in a long time that I thought was "babysitter worthy". A guy that showed me that there are great men in my backyard that have all the qualities that I'm looking for. Someone who is also looking for a relationship.

We had great conversation and chemistry over drinks and dinner, flirted, and daily text sessions in the days after.

And then nothing.

What?! Is this some cruel trick God? You dangle this ideal specimen in front of me and he doesn't immediately fall madly in love with me? That's just wrong!

So what do I do now?

Nothing.

I don't call him. I don't write him. I don't chase. I move on having learned something amazing, THERE ARE BABYSITTER WORTHY MEN IN MY BACKYARD! That's huge.

When a man his interested, he pursues. He calls. He texts. He makes plans to see you.

When a man is not interested, he doesn't.

Simple as that.

Of course the reasons as to why he isn't interested are nuanced. This guy might not want to be involved with someone with kids. Maybe he has ex issues. Maybe he just can't see himself with me. The bottom line is...it doesn't matter.

It is SO exciting when we meet someone we click with. It is SO disappointing when it doesn't work. That disappointment must be short lived though.

There is nothing invested in this "relationship" but HOPE.

So take that hope, and continue to be hopeful that the next person you meet and click with IS interested.