Unlock Love - How to Get Over Your Ex
We've all had a terrible breakup - or several. Those endings that feel like the end of the world. Where you can't imagine ever NOT being in pain. Yet, anyone who has ever suffered a breakup knows that it does get better with time. So other than finding a time machine to speed that up, how can you feel better...sooner. Here are the ways I urge my clients to move on after an ending:
Disconnect - No texts, no calls, no coffees to talk about what went wrong, no social media. Disconnect on ALL levels. A wound will never heal if you keep touching it. Having a hard time not texting them after a glass of wine? Find a sponsor. Have a friend that you can call or text when you are feeling weak. Do everything in your power to cut off contact. If you do nothing else, do this.
Release - Let go of any anger, sadness or frustration associated with the relationship or its ending. A simple tool I have many clients use is release writing. Just let it flow from your heart to the paper - "I release the pain I feel around xyz. I release my anger." etc. And then burn it. Carefully, and preferably outside.
Rebound - This has not always been part of the prescription, especially as a relationship expert. BUT studies have shown that rebounds can be good for your confidence after a breakup. You don't necessarily need to jump into a relationship, but getting back out there and dating can do wonders for your well being. Let your friend set you up. Go out and flirt! It's all about shifting the sadness.
Three things. Three doable actions. And I promise you, it will get better.