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Do you trust me?

Trust.

It’s such a fragile state. Once it’s broken, it is extremely difficult to repair.

We so often talk about the trust of another, but what about the trust of ourselves? What happens when we lose our own trust?

I have a client that second (and triple) guesses every decision she makes. You know why? One time she made the “wrong” decision. One that caused her pain and frustration. It took her two years to shake the sadness. As a result, she no longer trusts herself to act in her own best interest. Sure, that one decision may have led down a tough road, but what about her current state? How much stress and frustration is she causing herself?

There is no decision you cannot make on your own when you trust yourself.

The person to date. The house to buy. The job to take. The jump to make.

So how do you regain the trust of self? I would argue in the same way you would regain it of anyone whom you no longer trust…

▪ Keep promises – If you commit to doing something, do it. No excuses. Even something as simple as “I will take a walk today” is a promise that must be kept. Perhaps it is more weighty – “I will set boundaries”. Either way, the importance is in the execution.
▪ Be nice – to yourself. We tend to trust kind people. Why? Because we don’t think they will hurt us. It works internally to. Eliminate that negative self talk and internal punisher. Be kind. To you.
▪ Believe in now. There are no mistakes. You never made a “bad” choice. You made choices. You learned lessons. All that there is now is room to grow. Bring yourself into the now. Stay present. Live from today, not yesterday.

Forget trusting me, trust yourself.

You Don’t Need Me

As a coach, it’s probably not the best practice to tell people that you aren’t necessary. But I’m not.

Nor is any other coach, guru, therapist, podcast, retreat or book.

Not for the long term. And not as a replacement of the knowledge and guidance that you have within yourself.

We are all built with an internal guide. We KNOW things. We know when something or someone is wrong for us. We know when we are too stressed out. We know when we are on the wrong path.

Yet, so many turn that access off. We would rather have someone else show us how to feel, how to react, how to choose. It’s easier that way, right? Less responsibility. Less vulnerability.

The more you ignore your inner guidance, the harder it is to hear it.

I work with people every day that have silenced the wisdom they have within. They don’t need me, but for a brief moment in time to reconnect to the truth within.

When you are connected to that truth you don’t need anyone – but you.

I want to give you a tool to start tapping into that inner guru. Something that can help to clear those cobwebs and strengthen the signal. It’s only 6 short steps, but can have a profound impact on starting to reconnect with that unbelievably wise inner self you have within.

Exercise:

1. Think of a decision you need to make. It could be as simple as what to eat for dinner, or as impactful as quitting a job, moving, or ending a relationship.

2. Find a quiet place to sit. Eliminate distractions. Turn of your phone, the TV, and lock the kids in a closet (I kid, I kid – but find somewhere where you wont be interrupted).

3. Get comfortable and start connecting to your breath. 5 count breath in through your nose, all the way into your belly. 5 count breath out of your mouth. Releasing every bit of air in your lungs.

4. Repeat that breathing pattern for 5 total breath cycles (but feel free to do more – it will only relax you even more)

5. Bring that decision to mind. Ask it silently or aloud in a way that gives you a yes or no answer. For example, “Should I take the job at XYZ?”, “Is it in my best interest to eat ice cream for dinner”, “Should I get back together with Tom?”. Ask the question. There’s no wrong question to ask, and no wrong way to ask it.

6. Listen. That’s it. Listen to the response that your inner guidance can give you. It could come as a word, a feeling or simply a knowing. Trust it.

Trust and consistency are the only way back to yourself. And if you use a coach, therapist, retreat or book to help you get there faster, so be it. Just don’t hand over all of your power to them – you are magical.

Four Ways to Bring Peace to Your Relationships

How has 2017 been for you? I can tell by my own social media feeds that the tension is not dissipating for most.

Why am I bringing this up? Not to talk about my political viewpoint, that’s for sure. What I do want to share are some ways we can bring peace back to our lives, relationships and social media feeds.

Here are four things you can do to make YOUR world a bit more peaceful:

– Take a break – Our brains aren’t designed to handle the constant bombardment of news, causes, arguments, and opinions. I meditate to get away from the stresses of the day. I turn off social media to get away from the stressed of the world. It’s ok to take a time out.

– Don’t engage – ‘You don’t have to attend every argument to which you are invited’. If someone starts resorting to name calling, or lacks the respect to hear your point of view, simply don’t engage. It’s not worth your energy.

– Be compassionate – Everyone has a story, and their own foundation for their viewpoints. I recently had the most beautiful discussion with someone who couldn’t be more opposite than I on many issues. We were able to discuss them, recognize each other’s points of view, and agree to disagree. That’s why they make vanilla and chocolate. We aren’t supposed to be clones, but we are supposed to try to understand each other – lovingly.

– Remember who you are – I could break out into my favorite song from Moana on this one (if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend!). We are all a combination of light and dark. I have my dark days – where I get salty and sassy. I just don’t live there. I remember that I am a being of light. That I am here to share my light with others, and to spread love. Remember who you are. You are not inherently angry – even if a situation makes you feel that way. You are love.

Sending all of you SOUL much love!

Stop doing this one thing, and you will be SO much happier!

Gurus.
Experts.
Therapists.
Coaches.
Your family.
Your friends.

They all have something in common….they love to tell you the “right” way to do something.

The right way to handle a situation. The right choice to make. The right path to take.

I believe that many on the above list have great insights based on experience, education and innate knowledge. But guess what? I believe that you have more. More insights into your own choices. More insights in how you should handle a situation. More than anyone outside of your soul could ever have.

Do you want to have an immediate rise in happiness? Start listening to yourself.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t take into account the opinions of others. It doesn’t mean that you can’t utilize the education and experience of others to help your process your decisions. You can still value the opinion of those around you, but the end choice? It’s yours.

If you know you need closure, seek it.

If you know you need to make a change, make it.

If you know that you are on the right track, don’t let anyone deter you.

Sending you so much love knowing that you are wise, powerful, and amazing beyond measure.

Smart Home Etiquette for Couples

Nothing says Valentine’s Day like home security! No? Well, it definitely plays a role in relationships, so when Alarm.com reached out to me to ask a few questions about technology and love, I was all about it. Check out the article below!

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