Month: May 2014

Ego vs. Heart

Woah.

That’s the kind of day I had yesterday. Ever have a moment when you could finally put words to a feeling?

I attended Reveal, a women’s event focused on spirituality, kindness and self love, and left with an understanding of why I have been feeling what I have been feeling. You see, after my recent retreat, I came back with a lack of a desire to be plastered on television, or quoted in major magazines. Not that I won’t appear occasionally, but it isn’t a focus to land every possible segment or get my own show.

Instead of bright lights and cameras, I felt the strongest pull to speak, to coach, and to transform. I just didn’t know why.

Yesterday, I realized it was because I am now choosing heart over ego.

I realized so many of my decisions are based in ego. What makes me look better? What makes me look cool? What validates the little girl inside who didn’t feel good enough?

TV appearances feed my ego.

Coaching and speaking feed my soul.

Getting picked to be the date of the hottest, richest, most famous guy feeds the ego.

Creating a true loving connection filled with communication, shared values, and similar goals feeds the heart.

I have to tell you, it feels amazing to feed the heart.

What choices are you making in your life based on ego?

How would they be different if they were based on heart?

There is a reason the saying is “follow your heart”.

PS – Speaking of heart based speaking, my most recent TEDx is now available!

I was absolutely honored to speak at my alma mater’s first TEDx event on “Killing Fear” last month. Fear is so pervasive in our lives, and I am passionate about helping people overcome the fears that hold them back in life and love. It’s actually the topic of my next book.

Lessons in Love from Moms

Happy Mother’s Day! I love holidays like today. Days that make us take a moment to reflect on the people in our lives that have helped shape who we are, and teach us important life lessons.

Moms have a tough gig. No pay, long hours, and tons of stress. Spending the day recognizing the moms in your life (or yourself!) is a great way to give back to those who give so much.

Moms also have a lot to teach us about love and relationships. While you are celebrating the moms around you, think about these lessons as well:

▪ Prioritize. A mother often puts her children’s needs first. What can she do to make sure her kids are happy? What makes her kids feel safe? How can she give them the best life possible? Taking even a smidge of this selflessness into your relationships, can make your partner feel like the center of the universe.
▪ Love unconditionally. Moms love their children in a way that transcends reality. They don’t keep track of times when they’ve felt slighted. Moms love regardless of what their children can offer in return. What would change if you loved like a mom? Without judgement? Love without limits.
▪ Love yourself like a mom would. Throughout my life, my mother has attempted to convince me that I am the most amazing person in the universe. She would never settle for second best for me, and because of that, neither will I. Love yourself like a mom. Value yourself as a mom would. Hold yourself up on a pedestal and bring that self love and self value into your relationships.

Have an amazing day, and go tell a mom how awesome they are!

He Didn’t Call, Now What?!

I met someone!

A man for the first time in a long time that I thought was “babysitter worthy”. A guy that showed me that there are great men in my backyard that have all the qualities that I’m looking for. Someone who is also looking for a relationship.

We had great conversation and chemistry over drinks and dinner, flirted, and daily text sessions in the days after.

And then nothing.

What?! Is this some cruel trick God? You dangle this ideal specimen in front of me and he doesn’t immediately fall madly in love with me? That’s just wrong!

So what do I do now?

Nothing.

I don’t call him. I don’t write him. I don’t chase. I move on having learned something amazing, THERE ARE BABYSITTER WORTHY MEN IN MY BACKYARD! That’s huge.

When a man his interested, he pursues. He calls. He texts. He makes plans to see you.

When a man is not interested, he doesn’t.

Simple as that.

Of course the reasons as to why he isn’t interested are nuanced. This guy might not want to be involved with someone with kids. Maybe he has ex issues. Maybe he just can’t see himself with me. The bottom line is…it doesn’t matter.

It is SO exciting when we meet someone we click with. It is SO disappointing when it doesn’t work. That disappointment must be short lived though.

There is nothing invested in this “relationship” but HOPE.

So take that hope, and continue to be hopeful that the next person you meet and click with IS interested.

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