Month: April 2014

I honor myself.

1. regard with great respect.

I write and speak a lot about self love. Self love is the foundation to romantic love, for without a strong relationship with yourself, you can never have a healthy relationship with someone else.

But this week, I was reminded to HONOR myself.

My good friend Rebekah Borucki (you know, that chick that I keep telling you to meditate with?) gave me a reminder of how in addition to focusing on self love, we need to remember to honor ourselves.

Who knew that a small bracelet could have such an impact? It did, and it made me think of all the times I DON’T honor myself. The times when I allow others to dictate my schedule. The times when I cut myself down with negative thoughts. The times when I allow people in my world that don’t lift me up.

This bracelet reminded me that I need to regard myself with great respect. ALWAYS. It is a choice. We choose to let people treat us a certain way. We choose to allow ourselves to be disrespected. We choose to allow our beliefs to be disregarded. We choose to not honor ourselves, but we must.

This week I challenge you to honor yourself.

Honor yourself with the thoughts you think.

Honor yourself with the choices you make.

Honor yourself with the boundaries you set.

Honor yourself. Always.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
― Gautama Buddha

The stronger we grip, the quicker they slip.

It happens all the time. Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Girl really likes boy. Boy likes girl too. Girl starts getting upset when boy doesn’t call every day, or make plans for every free moment. Boy freaks out and starts to slowly fade. Girl freaks out and starts to cling. Boy REALLY freaks out and runs. Fast.

I can’t tell you how many times a client has relayed this story to me, regardless of the gender roles. It happens over and over and over again.

So what’s the common denominator?

We all need to relax.

We all need to realize that we can’t control the other person.

We all need to release the stranglehold we have on love.

I get it. You finally find someone you click with, and you want to go ALL IN. You fantasize about them writing a John Legendish song about YOU. You hold on so tight, get invested so quickly, and create a space where you can barely breathe.

Think of your budding relationship like a seed. A seed needs water to grow. What happens when we overwater a seed? It doesn’t grow. The same happens when we overwater, overtext, overcall, overask, overexpect, or overanalyze a budding relationship. It doesn’t grow. It doesn’t stand a chance.

So give your seed the right amount of water and breathing room to grow into a healthy relationship. Relax. Stop overthinking. Release control.

Just go with it. There is magic on the other side.

It’s ok to get angry

Every week I try to write something that resonates for me, and each time I go deep below the surface, I get such amazing feedback from you that inspires me to share (and over share) more. Well, this week was a challenge for me. I sat this morning thinking about what to write, and I was afraid to be really real. I was afraid you would judge me. The fact is, I got pretty irritated this week. I wouldn’t go so far to say pissed off, but absolutely irritated. The problem? Too much. Too much _what_ you ask? Everything.

I’m a pretty positive person. I take most things in stride, and thrive on change, growth and excitement. But sometimes, even I need a time out. This week was a great week for so many reasons. I made some BIG plans for changes coming in the next year, I worked on my first TV pilot, and I had amazing calls with my coaching clients. However, in the midst of that, both my kids got sick, schedules changed a million times, and I had some serious negative feelings after allowing a toxic relationship temporarily back in my life.

Ok, maybe I did get a little pissed.

I sat with my anger this weekend, and tried to understand why it arose. What is it’s purpose? Why is it there? That gave me the answer I needed to move past it, and back to my happy place (it’s SO much nicer there!).

You see, anger can be a catalyst for change. When we are in our lowest state, feeling depressed or like a victim, anger can be the process that raises you to the next level. Anger can inspire you to make changes. Anger can help you remove yourselves from toxic situations without regret. Anger can help you realize your need to take back control, set boundaries, and create the life you want.

I realized that anger isn’t all bad.

While I’m not encouraging you to go out and get angry without reason, I am asking that you try to understand your anger. Why is it there? What good can come from it? What changes can you make to get you to YOUR happy place? Every emotion has a purpose. It’s up to you to utilize it to your benefit.

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