Month: December 2013

A New Year’s Wish

Happy New Year! New Year’s Eve is one of my favorite holidays (other than Thanksgiving). I love the focus on growth, change, and a fresh start.

Starting a New Year is a great time to release anything that didn’t serve you in the prior year. Thoughts, feelings, and people that hold you back? Yep, they gotta go. What thoughts did you have in 2013 that kept you from having your best year? What people did you allow in your life that kept you from growing? It is time for a re-evaluation, and there is no better moment than now.

Rituals to release these feelings can be pretty powerful. I had a couple of my favorite ladies over last weekend and we fired up the things that we needed to let go. I burned away the things that were suffocating my growth: image issues, toxic relationships (platonic and romantic), and fear. It felt amazing.

Before you go out tonight (and if you are single you should go OUT!), I urge you to take a moment to release. Start fresh in 2014 without the things that clip your beautiful wings. Simply writing “I release the feeling that _____” or “I release my need to ______” can be just as effective as becoming a wee bit of a pyromaniac. Just let. it. go.

Happy New Year my friend! Have a beautiful fresh start with limitless love and happiness in 2014!

The Loneliness Bug Bites Us All

I will be the first to admit that I am far (VERY far) from perfect. I don’t have it all figured out. I make mistakes. A lot of them. However, I do try to learn from them. Not just for myself, but for you. Anyone that gives advice, and pretends to know the answer to every question all of the time is full of it.

Take this week for example. Less than a week after going on TV to talk about how you shouldn’t use the holidays to reconnect with an ex, I committed the sin I preached about. I sent a fake “wrong message”. You know, like a fake butt dial? “Oops! I didn’t mean to send that, but now that I have you, how are you?” Terrible. I know. We broke up for a reason. Good ones. The intellectual side of my brain knows that. The intellectual side knows that long-term compatibility isn’t there and that there were too many issues to overcome. The emotional side of my brain said “You miss him! What if there is still a chance? We can change together!” The truth is somewhere in the middle. Yes, I missed him, but we aren’t meant to be. Thankfully, my good sense recovered and took over after that initial message. I stopped writing and distracted myself with a great book before I really started letting my emotions take over. I wish I could blame it on eggnog.

The point of sharing my personal story? I get it. I feel you over the holidays when you want to have that companionship. You want to have someone to go to those terrible ugly sweater parties with. You want to worry about whether you bought them too much, or too little as a gift. You want someone to keep you warm when the global warming that has hit NYC this week fades.

You will have it.

You will have all that and more.

My wish for you this holiday season is unbelievable heart pounding crazy love. Keep the faith, it is out there, and the next time you think about reaching out to an ex? Take my lesson to heart. Some doors have to remain closed to allow for another to open. Find a way to distract yourself with something that keeps your mind and heart from wandering. For some it is exercising, others find solace in bad television (me! me!). Anything that keeps you from (re)opening that door.

Wishing you much love and happiness to all of you in 2014! You deserve it.


Two Weeks to a New Year, and a New Perspective

The saying goes, “New Year, New You” right? Well, I think the existing you is just awesome. I’m not of the opinion that starting 2014 with a feeling that you need to be completely made over is the best for anyone’s self-esteem. I know it doesn’t resonate with me.

I am, however, a huge proponent of constantly growing and learning, which of course leads to changes within myself, but I am still me. I don’t want a “new” me, I want to become the best me.

My challenge? Spend the next few weeks creating a path to become the best you in 2014. Here are some things I will be doing, and I would love if you joined in:

  • Gratitude Journal – I will be journalling every day. Writing down five amazing things that I am thankful for every night. Have more? Add them. No less than 5. Anything goes.
  • Design Your Life – You are the creator of your destiny. What do you want in 2014? A loving relationship? More fun? A better job? Write it out. What does your life look like on December 31, 2014? Who are you with? How do you feel? Why are you thankful? The more details the better.
  • Commit to You Time – This time of year is filled with obligations. Sure, some of those obligations are fun! However, that holiday party can still be a drain on your energy. You time is essential right now to get in the right frame of mind for the new year. I will be designating time every day to shut off my phone, lock my kids in the closet (kidding! I’ll wait until they are in bed), and just relax.

Priorities Are Powerful

I had planned to write about something entirely different this week, but the events of the past few days changed that. From the stories of chaos at Black Friday sales to the untimely passing of Paul Walker to the story this morning of a derailed train en route to NYC, I found my self-thinking nonstop about priorities and how precious our time is on this earth. How we rank our priorities has a lot to do with how we use our energy while we are here. I’ll tell you one thing, those who were trampling workers and getting into fights at 5am at Walmart this past Friday don’t seem to place a high value on love and kindness.

What are your priorities and how do you rank them? Is it family? Love? Money? What gets you up in the morning excited to start another day? What weighs on your mind the most?

Are the priorities you truly want to make a focus in your life taking those top spots? What do you spend the majority of your resources (time, money, energy) trying to achieve?

Identifying, and sometimes rearranging, your priorities not only allows you to live a purposeful, intention-driven life, but it also plays a large role in dating. Identifying what drives you at your core can help you figure out how committed you are to finding love AND exactly who you are looking for.

Take a few minutes before you start your week, and make a list of:
1. What it is that you truly value.
2. What you are spending the majority of your time working towards.
3. What traits you would value in a partner.

Compare numbers 1 and 2, are you working towards achieving that which you truly value? Looking at number 3, how do your potential partner’s characteristic’s fit into your life?

Understanding what we want and need at our core can be essential to getting what we want.


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